Scared to lose yourself?

What if, after everything you lose, you find everything you are?–– for you can never lose what you are…

This morning, I found myself saying, “I’m just scared to lose myself yet I feel like as I lose my old self, i find myself.”

This was an aha moment for me. This past year and a half has been very challenging for me. The most loss I have ever experienced all while being met with what I had lost in the past. It has felt very overwhelming to my nervous system yet also recognizing how capable I am of meeting it all for it wouldn’t arrive if it wasn’t ready to be held.

When things arrive, it isn’t to “remind you” as much as it’s saying “hey, you’re more than capable to hold me now” and this is what helps you begin to trust yourself again. You’re learning to feel safe and how to meet yourself more deeply and completely.

When you’re scared to lose yourself, it’s because you are scared of what’s behind the loss and the loss has become your focal point.

I’ve wrestled with the idea of : why is it that we have to lose things, and people, and parts of ourselves…. when it can be so easy and simple for us to all be together and have healthier– and more clean ways to approach things… and from time-to-time, it would cross my mind that I was delusional yet the truth of me knows it’s because we make it complicated. We’re not with ourselves or each other long enough to understand– to feel them– to see them clearly. It’s easier and quicker to place a story on them rather than sit with someone to unravel the layers that keeps you from each other and ourselves…

I just don’t like how loss comes with gain because it creates meaning out of loss… and, for me, then I became okay with losing people rather than understanding the difference between losing and letting go.

Letting go of the old behaviors that clearly cannot come with you on the path you’re on.

Letting go of the people who may not be the best for you and most supportive for this chapter in your life.

Letting go of old projects, promises, and things that you know are just a no for you now yet you’re choosing to hold it with you and it has now become weight.

This isn’t about becoming weightless– it’s about waiting less… when you do the hard things, and face the shadows and challenges, you align differently and more quickly that ever before.

This is why it’s necessary to “lose yourself” and smile at the “you’re out of your mind”… promise that you’ll be.

Love love love to you.