The Box of Bare Minimum
You’re receiving the bare minimum because you’re accepting the bare minimum. It’s what you believe you deserve and so that is what you receive.
And in those moments you feel like you deserve more, you don’t communicate it because you fear your needs being “rejected” or “not welcomed” or “too much” and you refuse to take up space so instead you remain small and unhappy to fit in the box of bare minimum.
So what do you do?
You do the absolute uncomfortable. You do the scary thing.
You drop into a moment in silence and bring awareness to what you’re available for. And you accept that as your truth and what you deserve.
Have the conversation. “This is what I am feeling. This is where I stand. This is what I am available for. I care about you. I care about our relationship and it’s important that we have this conversation so we can see (and meet) each other more clearly and healthily.
Let go of the outcome. We tend to (naturally) have expectations of how things will go including conversations. We’re scared the person may ‘reject’ or not receive what we say. We’re scared of confrontation. Yet, when you are not available to argue, you won’t. Recently, someone said to me “arguing is healthy” and I call bullshit. Communication is healthy. If it turns into an argument, it’s because someone is not seeing something/one clearly, desires to be right and/or sees it in one way. This is not something you need to change. You get to choose what you’re available for. If you’re available for an argument or fight rather, then you’re more open to experiencing one. If you’re not, you can also kindly say, “I am not available for an argument. We can step away and make space to return with a more clear mind and open heart.” This is not a weakness. The strong, grounded one will be the one who responds in this way. The other person may need your leadership to guide the conversation and— that’s beautiful. There is no you better than them or them better than you. We’re all being guided and, we need each other regardless of the form it takes. It just needs to be healthy and clear because, you deserve that. :)
Let me know how it lands. Excited to see you thrive in your relationships and conversations.
