Dear Human, You’re Not A Narcissist
Throughout the past few years, the word narcissist has been on many corners of the internet as a trend rather than understanding what people are saying.
I personally am not a ‘fan’ of labels nor calling people ‘names’ or placing them in ‘boxes’ because– well, we are so much more and beyond that.
The question I’ve deeply reflected on is, is it narcissism or– is it self-reflection? So let’s run this through.
It’s natural to wonder about these things, especially if you’re committed to self-awareness and personal growth. Feeling like you're reflecting on yourself or considering your needs DOES NOT make you narcissistic—it makes you human. It is very convenient for one to call another narcissist based on the current state of consciousness within our planet yet the more aware each individual becomes, this word as a whole will fade out.
So let’s explore this deeper.
Reflection vs. Narcissism
Reflection:
Healthy self-reflection involves examining your actions, emotions, and behaviors to grow and understand yourself better.
It’s a sign of emotional intelligence and accountability.
Narcissism:
True narcissism is a persistent pattern of self-centeredness, a lack of empathy, and a need for excessive admiration, often at the expense of others.
It’s not about thinking of yourself occasionally—it’s about being unable to think about others in a meaningful way.
From what you’ve shared, your thoughts are driven by a desire to balance your needs with others’ needs while maintaining respect and boundaries. That’s the opposite of narcissism.
Why It Might Feel Like Narcissism
Conditioning: If you grew up in an environment where your needs weren’t prioritized, thinking about yourself now might feel “selfish” or “wrong.”
Guilt: If you’ve been made to feel like helping others is your main role, prioritizing yourself might trigger feelings of guilt.
Overthinking: When you’re reflecting deeply, it can sometimes feel like “I’m making this all about me,” even though you’re simply trying to process.
The Key to Balance
Reflection becomes a problem only when it leads to self-criticism or constant doubt about your worth.
Try reframing: Instead of thinking, "Am I being narcissistic?" ask, "Am I honoring both my needs and others’?"
